NERDS! Yes, you beer and pop-culture nerds alike. Gather round and feast your eyes on the following:
You guys remember that cartoon from the late 80’s about the sewer dwelling, pizza-loving reptiles with shells on their back and mad karate skills? I’m not talking about the alligators that supposedly inhabit New York City storm drains. No, I’m referring to the turtles with Renaissance artist names. You remember that lot, right? The ones in the live action movies from the late 90’s (those are classics even though they changed April for the second and third films). Raph, Don, Mikey, and Leo. Or maybe you remember them by the color of their masks: Red, Purple, Orange, and Blue. Hey wait a second, didn’t they have a rat as their master? Master…takes sip of beer…Splinter! Coolest rat ever, right? Actually, if I’m honest, Splinter is the only rat I wouldn’t mind seeing as he walked out of the sewers. Might have been old, but the guy could kick some tail. Right, before I get too distracted, I should probably get down to business. Before I officially start the review, I’ll try not to make too many “radical!” or “dude!” references. No promises though.
Beer: Terpenes In Time
Brewery: BAREbottle Brewing Co.
Style: New England IPA (Hazy IPA)
Untappd Description: “Shreddin’ some of our favorite lots of Citra and Amarillo selected in Yakima, with notes of candied melon and jolly rancher candy.”
Enjoy In: Teku, IPA glass, Half Shell
Enjoy At: 50-55 degrees Fahrenheit
I saw this beer on Tavour, probably about midday and from the can art alone I knew I had to purchase it. Humans are visual creatures and I admit that it’s been the impetus of my buying impulse on more than one occasion. With so many references in just the art alone, I felt like I’d have a serious case of FOMO. That, and like I’d have let the little kid in me down in some way (which is weird considering we’re talking about a beer). What got me wasn’t the green color, though. The first thing I noticed was the font that “BARE” was written in. I thought “I know that from somewhere”, and like a bolt of lightning (or a nunchuck to the face), BAM! the jingle from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon started playing in my head. Nostalgia is a powerful thing. I applaud the breweries that manage to do that. Most are through artwork and fewer still might be through taste. This is the former. And it’s the details that really start to shine as you inspect the can. The designs that make the label look like a shell. The piece of melty cheese & pepperoni pizza. The font of all the words. The different colors “Cowabunga” is written in. All of these little things come together and form a cavalcade of awesome. Or rather everything forms something that’s “totally radical!”
Crack open the can and your nose is met with, and tingled by a mix of bitey hop odor and sweet tropical fruits. Grab a favorite glass and begin pouring. No, that’s not the Ooze that will exit this 16oz. beauty. Instead, there’s a soft golden orange haze sloshing about whatever you’ve chosen to enjoy this brew from. The next thing you’ll notice is the light, fluffy, and bubbly head that springs forth if you manage to pour too quickly. Actually, whether you’re too quick or not, you’ll still get the same result, though perhaps not quite as much as I did. Take a few sips and that head leaves excellent lacing behind. It’s a wonder to beh- oh, you’ve already swirled the beer around the glass, haven’t you? Ah well, no matter because the beer is the important bit, isn’t it? Speaking of which, Terpenes in Time is one smooth beverage. Not just in delivery, but the flavor(s) rolling around in 7.2% bliss never overwhelm each other, giving each drink a thick, weighty, and sweet fruit flavor that is more reminiscent of juice than it is a beer. While you’re at it, you’ll notice a hint of hop bitterness at the very end. Want another drink yet? More like, want another can? Yeah you do. Cowabunga it is!
My Untappd Score: ****-1/4
Global Rating: 4.05/5 (as of 10/14/20)